Quote Japan

Interesting, odd, outrageous or informative quotes about Japan

Uncyclopedia- Japan quotes from the spoof Wikipedia

From the “Japan” entry

“In general, Japan lacks many natural resources other than perverted old men.”

“To pacify the children of Japan, the US government demanded after WWII that they spend the greater portion of their waking life watching anime to quell their rage and enter a state of eternal bliss (see: Pikachu seizure). ”

“For some reason, the Japanese always come up with new ways to do useless things. Since they are perfectionists, you will often find them trying to find and document the myriad ways of doing mundane tasks. The lost art of erebe-ta-do (エレベーター道), otherwise known as the art of pushing elevator buttons, is one such pursuit. The complex art and finesse of pushing elevator buttons takes many years to master. A 10th Dan elevator black-belt can push the buttons in such a way that can make the elevator do more than it was intended to, such as produce lemon and grape snowcones during summer. Another art in common use today is the Japanese business management art of kakunin-do (確認道、あるいは過労死), or the art of checking things. Due to Japan’s economic success, kakunin-do was studied by the management of many Western companies and implemented for a while until Western managers started dying from the utter monotony. Once people started dying the practice was dropped, proving that Westerners tragically lack proper work ethics but at least have souls.

A typical artisan of kakunin-do studies the five eternal principles of the way of kakunin. These are: Over-checking, Distrust, Dodging responsibility, Indecisiveness, and Postponement. A true master of kakunin-do will politely inundate his subordinates with requests for checking, and other seemingly benign comments, until nothing ever gets done.”

“Because so much of the land mass is mountainous, 94% of the population is forced to live on mountaintops so that the limited amount of flat land can be used for cultivating indigenous monsters. Being squeezed onto mountaintops has forced the Japanese people to develop a space-saving complex, probably the main reason for smaller penises. ”

“The Japanese populace and government are very focused on preserving their natural resources and environment. The effort to reuse and resell panties, in particular, is admirable and is estimated to cut usage of textiles by nearly 45% ”

“The traditional Japanese tea ceremony… consists of two people taking turns refusing to drink a cup of hot water until it has evaporated.”

“Many areas in the Archipelego seem to have their own “home monster”.

Examples: …

Shinjuku: Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building, headquarters of the Super Tokyo Metropolian Bureaucrat Rangers, which transforms into the Super Kaizer Tokyo Metropolitan Government Robot whenever city is under threat.”

From the “Bukkake” entry

“Bukkake was declared the official national passtime of Japan in 1945, replacing Losing Wars and Seppuku. ”

From the “Shinto” entry

“Shinto is also unique in that it lacks a prohibition against lolicon tentacle hentai, a key aspect of the religion that has lead to Shinto becoming the largest religion in the world. “

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